'A Big Loss'

'On that bizarre morning, I woke up. I got proscribed of bed and do it. After I made the bed, I went down the dorm to where my induces bedroom was; I told her it was time for me bring ready for school, so I got in the shower. After I showered, there was a knock at the door. My mother and I ran to the door, we twain asked who it was. It was my cousin-german Bobby, he said, I exhaust nearly bad tidings We opened the door. He told me that my set proscribed had been pecker the night before, and that he was non OK, he was dead. At the familys of five, I did non sureize that losing soul so distinguished would affect me in so many ways. \nWhy didnt I feel that losing my begetter was important? by run across it was because I had scarce seen him once in my life when I was three year old. We had just move up from sulfur Carolina to New York, I met him at the Riverhead withdraw station. When I walked up to him, he gave me a big espouse and bought me ice cream. He told me, I revere you, word of honor. Years by and by my mother told me the literal reasons why my father wasnt around. It was because of his lifestyle; he was in a gang, and he didnt include that I was his son because I walked other than from my other brothers. At the age five, I didnt understand why my father wouldnt buy out me the way I was.\nThings changed for me after that. commonwealth in planetary feeling that I would be lose some thing important in my life because I didnt give way a father. There was no one to watch me how to be real man. I did not have the chance to hang out with my father, or have the father-son bond that nigh boys have. As I got older, it did bother me, I think I accepted it because my mother played both roles. I could dialogue to my grandmother nigh my father as she was his mother. She told that me that he took caveat of his appearance, and dressed nicely every day. She too told me that he was a nice person who was quiet and thought about t hing before he would act on them. I realize that I have most of those safe(p) qualities....'